What I Did On My Summer Vacation

#10-Got Bacteria in My Ears

#9-Saw how the “Amish” made stuff is really imported from Florida (but they can make incredible sandwiches).

#8-Had my sinus’ massaged by a woman with German type hands.

#7-Saw a woman in a bathrobe trying to shoot a turtle in water while the dock she was on was shaking ninety to nothing.

#6-Saw an idiot nearly blow off his hand while talking holding a lit firecracker. 

#5-Got More Bacteria in My Ears (see #10)

#4-Wished I was a millionaire so I could build a General Store as a tourist trap and make another million.

#3-Rode on a train forward while eating lunch.

#2-Rode on a train backward while eating lunch.

#1-Went to a health food store and noticed they were selling organic (“wink, wink”) raspberries for $24 a pound.  Wished I was a vegan store owner so I could make some money on the poor saps who buy these raspberries.